Adam

 

Adam on top of Lorraine

The Early Years

This is Adam Hembrough, as seen from behind, cycling home from work heading south along Stoneferry Road, Hull past the junction of Lorraine Street, hence the name of the picture.

Adam Christopher Hembrough was born Adam Christopher Hembrough on 12 June 1973, a notable musician and amateur computer programmer. His introduction to Owstwecianism was shortly after he joined Wilberforce Sixth Form College, Hull, UK.

While playing Bohemian Rhapsody one day on a piano, Ray Fenwick heard this and stuck his head round the door uttering, "Ah, Queen.". This was the start of a friendship that included much obscurity.

During Adam's first year at college, he was heavily influenced by Ray. The first of these were the naming of Adam's current bicycle.

Adam chose the name Mavis. Mavis was by no means a Kreakcea, but nor was she a monocoque, £6000 racer ideal for the Tour de France. Adam decided to replace the drop handlebars for straight bars. However, this meant that he had to overreach. To overcome this problem, Ray mounted the handlebars backwards. This cannot be described as anything except ludicrous. Mavis lasted for well over a year until Adam finally decided it needed to be replaced. More of that later.

Adam was impressed by Ray's maverick approach to life and decided that he should grow his hair. This was unsuccessful and only succeeded in a hairstyle that resembled a cross between a thatched cottage and a Vileda Supermop. To make it look more radical, he temporarily coloured it black. Due to a misunderstanding with the instructions, his hair, under certain lighting conditions, took on a blue tint.

Adam, already an accomplished pianist, decided to learn to play the guitar. His friends, Ray and Steve Ducker brainwashed him with Guns 'n' Roses and later, Iron Maiden.

Ray had a particular liking to wine and even more so, sherry which he introduced Adam too. In 9 months, Adam was transformed from a quiet, nervous 4 and a half foot tall, squeaky voiced, 16 year old youth with a fear of females to a sherry swilling, long, black haired, guitar playing lout, who for frottage was an everyday feature of his day to day college existance.

 

McDonalds, Mild and Mountain Bikes

In the late spring of 1990, with the recommendation of Steve Ducker, Adam began employment at McDonalds in Hull City Centre. His tales of the Orwak trash compacter and fry stations were inspiring to say the least. Less than a month later, he had convinced Mark Oglesby that he should also work for McDonalds. And so he did.

Towards the end of May, Ray Fenwick began to go out with Emily, Adam's younger sister. The relationship caused Mark to become Adams common companion. During Mark's visits to Adam's house, he noticed that the magnetic letters on the fridge could be used for humerous effect. This spawned the Golden Age of Owstwecian Humour. Nonsensical words were created with suitable meanings, the more contrived the better.

Adam and Mark had become a double act, his warped sense of humour acting like a catalyst to furnace the already obscure humour that had infected him from his time spent with Ray.

In the autumn of 1990, Adam purchased his first mountain bike.

 

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