Custom built underwear for cycling in.
The maximum amount of iaei that can get into your pockets without consciously having to stuff it in.
To be chased by a dog.
The obscure fluctuating accent used in distorted Owstwecian.
The after effects of eating a cobra bite.
An ailment of the lower jaw brought about by prolonged oral sex that dissuades men from cunninlingus and is used as a cop-out for women from performing fellatio.
A spectacularly large woman who runs a seaside tea-room.
To attempt to help someone only to make it more awkward for them.
A group of objects that includes the Rubik's Cube and LCD hand held games, the aerobie and that plastic hoop with a football wedged in it.
The state of anxiety experienced when you realise that your cycle is not going to carry you all the way home.
What lies at the back of Lelley boating lake.
The town in Finland which is twinned with Owstwick.
The act of taking a tasty bird to the pictures.
To get the contents of your bike rack wrapped in your back wheel.
Objects deposited on the floor the sole purpose of which is to stick in your foot.
To be hung like a cuckoo clock.
An old caretaker who shouts at you and informs you that "you're causing havoc".
The accoutrements that festoon a froien.
To be incomprehensibly covered in oil, i.e. by putting your cycle chain back on.
An over-zealous yet pathetic attempt at a long overdue bicycle repair.
Someone who has sex with someone who is deln.
A dwoi chapel in the middle of nowhere.
To reluctantly agree to make a cup of tea.
An Owstwecian equine.
A unit of time as used by Mark Oglesby that has no finite boundaries whatsoever.
Owstwecian fate.
Being stuck on Hilston beach because of the inability to remember how to climb back up the cliff.
To use dirty pots and pans to prepare food, or drink coffee out of an eggcup, for example, in order to avoid washing up.
An erection. (-er) A tasty woman.
To masturbate discreetly.
To attempt to trade favours with mobiags.
To win a game of pool even though you're too pissed to stand up.
A receptacle used for urination that was designed for a different purpose.
A tatty old man who collects old roof tiles and chimney pots and stores them in a stable.
To offer to give lessons to a girl because you fancy her.
The conversion to lesbianism.
The woman in a lesbian relationship who looks like a rugby player.
Mud that builds up on your brakes.
That feeling when you put prawn crackers on your tongue.
Projectiles that start out as mud embedded in the tread of your back tyre, until you reach phingy whereupon the mud is thrown at the back of your head by centrifugal force.
The critical speed at which centrifugal force overcomes the bonding adhesion of phings.
Like eatitg, but really nice.
The state of Kevin's guitar playing.
Descriptive of the condition of a persons' genitals after a midnight naked cycle race.
Brand-new clothes that you've foolishly decided to wear on a bike-ride.
The formula used to calculate the minimum time that can be spent in a pub providing disship doesn't occur. The time calculated is where all the drinkers in the group have finished their drinks at the same time, which must coincide with the end of all the possible combinations of players in games of pool, ie 4 people play 6 games, at which point everyone must have finished their drinks.
The state of your inner tube after cycling home with a flat tyre.
To rip a punded inner tube off your cycle wheel in a fit of rage.
To turn any game into an excuse to disrobe.
The soreness felt in your crotch after beginning to cycle again after a six-month hiatus.
An oidibe's term for uncouth, troublesome youths.
To sing a nonsensical ditty in order to forget the sqawg.
A musical instrument which gives you bronchial pneumonia.
The gastric disturbance after having tea at a vegetarians house.
A small hole in straw that can only be discovered through ferinxing.
Glasses that just don't suit the wearer.
The feeling of lethargy experienced when you stop on a cycle journey for a leak or to put your chain back on. Causing you to not want to get back on your bike sort of thing, erm..
To damage your elbow by falling off your bike and sliding along the road on it.
Someone who spends more time with computers than people.
To be persuaded into getting bed with everyone else.
A group of annoying kids on a boating lake.
To ply a woman with alcohol in order to gain sexual favours.
Unshiftable food deposit on a plate that has been left to dry out for some time.
The smell of a garage. A mixture of turps, oil, creosote wood shavings and petrol.
To be so drunk that you can only crawl out of a pub.
Something you find washed up dead on Hilston Beach.
To find out that your waterproof isn't, such as coats, boots, tent, watch, incontinence pants etc.
Like conbage but mainly onion and red cabbage.
Terribly moody women, often caused by 'The Monthly Visitor'.
A terrible make of hi-fi.
An over-zealous christian.
The art of knowing exactly what you wanted from the Indian take-away without having to refer to the menu.
To send your mate to go get a curry.
The silt in the bottom of a cup of tea.
The amount of free physical RAM remaining after Windows has finished booting up.
Descriptive of a surface, particularly mud that looks deceptively dry, until you walk on it whn it becomes apparent that it is in fact marshland.
A small village that resides in a big hole.
Female version of Dick Dastardly, for example, the crossbar of a bike.
A Debbo's bloke.
What Sneddo can go and do.
A wobbly, rickety old wooden ladder.
To dislike something on principle.
The grassy, overgrown plot of land found behind a houisew.
Reactolites worn only for cosmetic effect.
Not the ideal weather to go cycling in, i.e. cold, blowing a gale and pissing down.
A car whose wheel has just fallen off.
The after effects of downing a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale too quickly.
A hi-fi that comprises of mismatched separates.
The nest of cables, flex, extension leads and a Lego-like construction of three-way adapters which can be found behind a styshege.
Dialogue in an Owstwick movie which has been obscured by excessive wind noise.
To offer sexual favours as payment.
The heat capacity of your arse after biking home on a frosty november night.
Owstwecian designer label.
A crap car that has been left for dead at the bottom of the garden.
Wayward dentition.
To rearrange your genitals.
An addition to a froien which serves a specific purpose such as a set of spanners.
The texture of straw in a barn.
Something that gets unnecessarily hot on a sunny day, such as the contents of the bottle on your bike, or the bonnet of a parked car that you've just decided to place your hand on.
Very low quality, lukewarm lager that tastes more like the can than beer.
To crash your cycle into a parked car whilst on a mobile phone.
A shirt that reveals too much when a girl leans over.
A medical condition brought on by eating Shanes' burgers and drinking instant tea for a number of days.
An ailment of the foot that prevents a cycle journey.
Object of locomotion.
The small hazard warning symbol that the HSE states must be applied to the labels of all home-brew.
Impossibly cheap lemonade.
The journey which is the reason for mending a Dabok.
To negotiate across some seriously thick mud on your bike.
A fly which ends its life on impact with your sunglasses.
A thoien which is used to carry a thermos flask.
The feeling you get before you go down a very steep hill on your cycle.
The Owstwecian word for foot.
The visible lumps caused by the labia under jeans that are far too tight.
The big brushes found in a car wash.
Bits of grass and brambles that get tied up in your chainset.
That horrible, bobbly stretchy cloth from which a fattle's ski-pants are made.
To lose control of your bike in icy/wet conditions.
To imbibe a fluid which hazards a risk of involuntary regurgitation.
Shane's moped. [Entym. From the words Vmitl, Yuxena and Towa.] Hence a transportation for yuxena drinkers.
To hunt around a village fayre for your mates who have probably been and gone home again.
Descriptive of the style of music employed in Owstwecian jam sessions resembling white noise with an accompaniment.
Descriptive of the texture of old sticky tape and rubber bands when they have been left in the sun.
To be hung like an ironing board.
A waterlogged soygong.
To be speechless at a double entendre.
Being overcareful when mending a styshege.
An abnormal load on your bike-rack.
Someone who has been cycling in sqawg weather.
How a heap of rotten vegetation or vegetables smells.
A kind of crap furniture made from crispbread that's supposed to be catching on in Sweden.
Showing vast amounts of arse cleavage when bending over.
To be conned into buying a crap car.
A crap car.
A bedroom full of office furniture.
An Owstwecian term which roughly translates to "It's your round."
The Owstwecian term for self-manipulation.
Someone who practises yerizta.
A seriously butch woman.
To be forced to go on a journey which you don't particularly want to embark on.
A cold fruit juice based drinkable fluid that is barely palatable.
There are as yet no Owstwecian words that begin with the letter Z.
